31 Signs You've Been a Teacher Too Long

You can find the article that I'll be referencing here.  You should probably read it and decide for yourself if you have been teaching too long.

I am going to go ahead and say that I have not been TEACHING too long.  Subbing on the other hand... quite possibly.

Why do I say I have not been teaching too long?  Well...
- First off all my jokes are hilarious and not at all cheesy (#1)
-  I don't have my summers off!.. I'm a part time nanny! (#3)... this isn't to say that I believe teachers have their summers off (although they technically do... unless they have other employment) because many of them plan over the summer and eventually start setting up their classroom again.
-  I NEVER get hilarious tattle notes (#12) and if I did you know I'd be posting them on here!
-  Can I just say that now I want a teaching position that much more just to do a yearbook photo like #16
-  Finding a substitute doesn't have to be hard (#21). I'll come!... that's assuming you are a teaching in one of the divisions (or private schools) that I sub in.  I mean... the commute to Miami would be killer.
-  And I just have to say Aww... to number 31.

Having said all of that of course there are ones that are true.  But I've done some thinking and since I am under 10 that means I have definitely not been teaching long enough... here is my list of things that are true...

#5 I love, love, LOVE movie days (ok, maybe love is too strong of a word but I definitely like them almost as much as I like my boyfriend... and I like him a lot)
#7 Who wouldn't laugh at Mr. Butt... do you not see how his name is spelt and how I'm assuming it's pronounced?  That is SO unfortunate!
#10 is the one I hate to admit.  I do lose my cool.  Sometimes, once I lose my cool I don't even find my cool until the next day.  Ugh, I hate it when I lose my cool.  I'm REALLY going to try to stay positive this year.  PS. I also love (like) New Girl.
#11 seriously, just spell the freaking word out!  It takes you not even a second to add a y and an o to the word you.  How lazy are we getting?
#14  They can pick on you so much more when you are the substitute teacher :(
#24  That will ALWAYS make me laugh (and you better believe it will make an appearance on the blog once I come across it).
#29 Ahh... the bell to go home.  Sweet relief.  Just be sure not to take off too early!

So.... which are true of you?

Alternative Learning School

So there are these schools that are for students that can't handle a 'normal' high school where they go to school from 8:30 - 3:30, sit in classes, and listen to teachers. There are probably various reasons why a student can't manage that situation in my case it was mostly because they were in and out of jail. Yes, jail. They get to work at their own pace (within reason) which can really benefit certain students sometimes.

But let's back up and set the stage for this lovely day.

I have a fabulous friend who occasionally hooks me up with subbing jobs at her school. She is a fantastic friend and I love going to her school to sub.

One day she messages me telling me that one of the teachers at the school has this husband who teaches at this school in the ghetto and he is going to request me because his wife suggested it.

Uh.. wait. What?

This friend of mine goes on to say that I should accept it because even if it is a terrible day we can laugh about it later and plus she would like to know what that school is all about.

Well, eventually the requested job shows up and I accept it (because I'll be able to laugh about it later). I'm not happy about the school it tells me to go to (my friend wasn't sure what the exact school was) mostly because I had heard horror stories from other substitute teachers about how the kids will do nothing and swear at you.

"Great" I thought "it sounds like another day to spend crying in my car"

Sidenote: I've only had to go to my car to cry once in all my subbing years.

Luckily, I was only required to sign in at the school and then I would be going to another location. Odd but at least it wasn't THAT school. Plus as a bonus I didn't have to bring a lunch because lunch would be provided.

Eventually, I find the school (after driving around the block 5 times and asking a homeless man if he had any idea where it was) and get my car parked in the proper parking lot.

I'm informed that it's an alternative school and the students will come at any point during the day. I'm shown my desk and told that I'll basically be helping any students who need help but not to panic because there are 3 of us total and the numbers aren't that big.

I was told in my subfinder instructions from the actual teacher that it would be an easy day and not to panic over it. He wasn't lying.

Basically I sat at my desk with my feet up reading for the majority of the morning.

Lunch rolls around and I'm invited to the kitchen area to have a pizza pop with the students. Awesome.

After lunch I helped one student with a math practice test and then got sent home early because there were really no students around anyways.

It was a great day at the Alternative Learning School

Mad Libs

I must confess I do not bring a bag of tricks with me when I go subbing. My first couple of years at this I was more into it I guess and I did bring stuff but now it is rare. However, on occasion, I will still bring some Mad Libs. 

Mad Libs are great. The kids learn and they get to make up a hilarious story. Plus now you don't even have to go out and buy a Mad Libs book because you can find them online (find websites) or even download an app if you have an iPhone or iPod or iPad. 

You get 21 stories free and then can purchase other books for $1.99.  

I always used a book though. Since I wanted to be able to reuse the Mad Libs in it multiple times I always wrote their answers down on another piece of paper (or on the board) and then just looked at that to fill in the blanks. 

How we played was I would let one student pick the story (the student can also be in charge of writing the words down and asking for the specific types of words that we need) and then I would go around the room asking each student to contribute a word. There generally weren't rules to the words they could use (the sillier the better) but obviously, swears or inappropriate words were not allowed. I also told them they weren't allowed to use the same word more than once (unless it was specified that it was ok)

T-Shirt

Just in case you aren't currently advertising what you do on your shirt Nordstrom has come up with a solution to this quite large problem.

Of course you have to be a substitute teacher if it your job you are informing people of.

Or you can buy one in support of substitute teachers everywhere!... not that we (the substitute teachers everywhere) are getting any money from the sales.

Starting to think I should be wearing something like this but maybe instead mine will read 

"Yes, I am still a substitute teacher

No, I have not gotten a teaching position"

It will save me from answering a lot of the exact same questions.

Will you be running out to purchase one of these lovely shirts?

I will not be because...

1) It is a little over $30 Canadian (plus shipping and taxes still)

2) I don't want to advertise what I do on my shirt (I also wouldn't get one that said "Teacher")

.... but I can only say for myself.

But if you are interested in the shirt you can find it online here.  

Or just go check out the closest Nordstrom to you.